My Struggles With Phone Calls As An Autistic Person

You may wonder why your autistic friend never picks up the phone when you call them. In this blog post, I will explain why.

Photo by Jonas Leupe on Unsplash

Why phone calls are stressful for autistic people. Do you wonder why your autistic friend never picks up their phone/returns calls? You may think they are being rude or don't care etc. That's not the case. Believe it or not, phone calls can be stressful for us

These are some but not limited to, reasons why autistic people are uncomfortable with phone calls.

It's unexpected

In general unexpected things can be stressful for autistic people. Keep in mind that everyone is different. Unexpected sounds can spook someone with PTSD, anxiety, etc. The phone ringer is one of those things. It's quiet in your room, you're vibing and a loud ringing noise suddenly throws off your groove. Just like how a deafening rumble of thunder could spook you or a loud firecracker. A loud ringer could be an anxiety trigger. As I said below, if you schedule an appointment you will expect the office to call you. You just may not know what time. Not knowing when the person will call you, or what they want to do makes the phone call stressful before it happens. It’s one thing to expect a phone call from your doctor or something. Facebook Messenger has a voice call feature. Time after people, people called me out of the blue, not even asking me what communication method I prefer.

My struggles with phone calls vary

When I make an appointment, I know they will call you a few days before to confirm or inform you regarding what you need. I'd like a heads-up if you must call me. Just a simple text asking if I am around to talk. And if I am not up for talking I'd like that to be respected. This wasn't easy when I met this guy at the eatery, Read more about that here

The reason I need this heads up is to prepare, to make sure I'm somewhere quiet, if I am someone loud it will be difficult to know what's being said. I can make notes on possible things to talk about. I can come up with a time slot ( eg I can chat for 15 minutes before I have to get ready for an appointment)

Also, the reason I'd like a heads up is that I need to recharge, I don't even live stream, after doing a spoon-draining task like cleaning, grocery shopping, or laundry. Disabled people or Chronically ill people don't have energy like abled people.

I mentioned in the post the guy randomly calls me in the middle of the night. I did not like that. Now anyone can argue I should have my phone on silent if calls bother me. The difference is, that you would expect calls in the daytime. You'd know to silence your phone. If I were a nurse working a night shift and I slept in the daytime, yes I would mute my ringer.

You would expect calls during the day. Not in the middle of the night. Unless there is an emergency. If you have a friend in another country, they still would respect you and you two would work out a system. The guy just assumed I was awake and wanted to talk. I have a video coming out where I talk about what happened. For all he knew, I could have an early appointment and I went to bed early or I went to bed early because I am doing something spoon-draining (like grocery shopping)

I would have been pissed at this guy for waking me up to pressure me into having sex with him. I talk about this in the blog post I hot-linked.

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