What Disabled People Mean When They Say "I Don't Have The Spoons"
What Disabled People Mean When They Say "I Don't Have The Spoons"
When you see a disabled/sick person say they don't have the spoons, does it confuse you? I am going to explain what it means.
When a disabled person says they don’t have the spoons for said activity, they mean they don’t have the energy. When you have a chronic illness, it can come with chronic fatigue. CHORNIC meaning it doesn’t go away like a cold. Disabled/ill folks are left with less energy than someone that’s not disabled or chronically ill.
Some folks use the spoon analogy to explain how they have to choose what to do that day with the little energy they have. You put out some spoons on a tablet. Subtract say 2 spoons per task ( eg showering, cooking, grocery shopping, etc)
Do you know how I always have the dilemma when my grandma tells me at the last minute we need to go grocery shopping? She doesn’t tell me until 7/8 PM and I need a full day to recharge what spoons I can. Grocery shopping is the most taxing activity ever. My folks like to go to 5 different stores. So if I have 60 spoons. Loading the stuff in the car takes 5 spoons. Driving to each store takes 2. After the first store. I am down to 55 and there are still 4 more places to go. As my spoons deplete, I become more and more worn out.
Then loading the stuff into the house takes whatever spoons are left if I have any left. My folks don’t understand my condition so I have to force myself to become more unwell. I notice the IBS flares don’t take as long to stave off if I hibernate. Not like animals do in the winter, you know how you can hibernate/put your computer in sleep mode to save energy? Something like that.
I cannot do this if no one tells me at least 2 days beforehand about a grocery shopping trip.
Things like cooking, and cleaning up can take spoons out of the person. When I needed physical Therapy for my unknown ankle injury, it put me out of commission for almost a week. I had no idea what PT would entail because I’d never done it before. If I had known it would leave me as tired as it did, I would have asked for something light.
Sometimes I will post shorts on Youtube if I don’t have the spoons to edit.
We are seen as lazy due to not having the strength to do the things we’d like to do. I hate how society bases how to treat someone based on productivity. It doesn’t make any sense.
My grandma has done it a lot in the past. Like what do you want me to do? You never actually tell me if you need something done and I’m supposed to read your mind. I am not lazy because I can’t read minds. I decided to say damn skippy’m lazy. Im not going above and beyond for someone who does nothing but judge me.
People are not lazy because they are not doing shit 24/7. People are allowed to give themselves time off. People are allowed to have lazy days and order pizza if they’re not up for cooking. Stop acting like laziness is a bad thing and someone is a bad person for it.
If someone is “lazy” at a job. Damn, skippy that’s their right. No one wants to go above and beyond for low pay. Depending on the context that is. Why are boomers so against rest? It doesn’t make any sense.
When I eat before shopping, my grandma throws a tantrum. Like God damn I’m just going to get a bite of pizza (Sams Club as a little eatery) not going to a buffet.
Self-care and taking care of your body makes boomers FUME and for what? Giving my body the fuel to possibly get through the taxing grocery shopping trip is a need. I would go by myself. My grandma doesn’t “trust me.” I tend to not look at the price every time I get something, none the less I feel you should get something worth the money. if it’s 30 dollars and you can eat off of it a few times vs something that’s 30 dollars and you can’t stretch it.
Especially for disabled/ill folks, they have to ration their spoons. We are also forgetting COVID left folks with permanent damage to their bodies that led to their disabilities.
All disabled folks may use different metaphors. The spoon one is pretty common.
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